


Somedays are harder but can you help me out?

by Morg_and_amour



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Big Brother Percy Jackson, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecure Leo Valdez, Leo Valdez Needs a Hug, Percy Jackson Needs a Hug, Post-Tartarus (Percy Jackson), Self-Hatred, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25038733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morg_and_amour/pseuds/Morg_and_amour
Summary: Even if Leo should be one of the happiest demigods (he certainly acts like it) he wakes up and feels the figurative weight of the world on his shoulders. He thinks about returning to old habits but Percy knows whats wrong. He sits Leo down and offers to be there.
Relationships: Leo Valdez & The Seven, Percy Jackson & Leo Valdez
Comments: 13
Kudos: 366





	Somedays are harder but can you help me out?

**Author's Note:**

> TW for: Self Harm, Implied suicide attempts, light cursing, and implied child abuse. None of it is graphic.

When Leo woke up, he felt empty. He had felt like this before and usually spent the day hiding alone in his cabin or in Bunker Nine trying his best. He knew it was going to be a day that was a bit harder than the others.

He tried to rationalize himself out of it. Percy and Annabeth we're back from Tartarus, the Athena Parthenos was on its way back to camp. His plan to get back to Ogygia was going extremely well. But still, he couldn't manage to shake whatever thoughts were crushing him this time.

Seventh wheel. Useless. Unnecessary.

The voices weren't kind today. He found himself tracing faint lines on his wrist while he sat up in bed. He wasn't sure how long here was there when he heard a knock on the engine room door.

"Leo?" Piper's voice rang through the room. "Hey it's almost lunch and we were going over some plans. We want to hear what you have to say."

Of course, they have already started. Why would they wait for useless little Leo?

"Coming beauty queen," he called out to her. He quickly put on his jacket and walked up to the deck. He tried listing but it sounded like a speaker with a bad connection, the sound was going in and out but the broadcast was continuing. All he could really do was eat Fonsies. He could barely tap his fingers on the table. It seemed like too much energy.

But then he saw the plastic knife and he started thinking. He should not be thinking that. He's nearly 5 months clean. Without thinking, he stood up, leaving the Fonsies on the table, he was needed to get out of there and be alone until the feeling passed.

"Leo?" Jason asked trying to be polite. "The meeting isn't over dude."

"Yeah but I don't feel well. I'm going to go lie down." He wasn't lying, it was just more of a mental sickness. He just needed to get away for a little bit. He didn't want them feeling sorry. Even the idea made him nauseous.

Percy stood up and walked up to him and put a hand on his forehead. Leo flinched so hard he nearly gave himself whiplash. The son of Poseidon noticed. He moved more slowly this time eventually reaching Leo's face. Leo met Percy's face, his eyes telling Leo he knew what he was doing. The younger boy silently pleaded for him to lie. 

"You're warm. I'll walk you down okay." Percy stated.

"No, I'll be-" Leo started but then caught sight of Percy's face. That dude was scary when he wanted to be. "Okay"

Percy turned to the group, "I'll be back in a few guys."

Hazel nodded, looking concerned. "Feel better Leo." Others repeated the sentiment. Leo could tell they were faking.

"I'm going to talk with you. Only about what happened on the deck. Nothing else unless it comes up and is relevant, okay?" Percy looked at the younger Latino, who reluctantly nodded. "Do you want to go to your cabin, my cabin, or the engine room? You should be comfortable."

They decided on the engine room. When they arrived, they both sat on Leo's mattress he had dragged to the floor.

"I'm fine Percy..." Leo started. But he couldn't meet the other boy's face. He was just tired.

"Bullshit," Percy said. "You might be physically fine but I can see you're struggling. I saw how you were rubbing your wrist and looking at the knife. And I know it wasn't your typical stimming. I see how you flinch when someone moves too fast. I notice that when anyone mentions family, you shy away. So, I'm going to sit here and we're going to talk or sit in quiet. But I know I am not leaving you alone right now okay?"

Leo nodded "Okay." He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "It's just harder on some days."

"Yo se Leo, yo se," Percy replied he understood. But he replied in Spanish, Leo didn't notice.

"I'm almost 4 months clean ya know. But I had a dream about my... my foster family and how they used to... they hated me. They were these racist abusive as people that..." Leo tried to stop himself from crying. "Lo siento, I'm sorry." He hugged his knees as he repeated himself.

"That's okay little dude. I'm here you know. Can I, give you a hug? They help." Percy said opening his arms.

"No, no I'm okay." Leo looked away rubbing at his face and trying to gather composure. He was not a fan of physical contact. Plus Leo knew that with one hug, he would probably cry while spilling all of his emotional problems on this kid. 

Percy nodded in understanding. "Do you want to at least take off your jacket? You're all sweaty looking."

Leo shook his head almost violently. "I'm not proud of them Perce. The scars from when I... when I wanted everything to be over." He said through tears. "I can't say it."

"No nesecitas decir nada si no eres comfortable" 'you don't need to say anything if you're not comfortable' Percy said in Spanish. "I have them too." He lifted up his pant leg to show dozens of horizontal lines from his ankle to his knee. They were only on the inside of his leg and for the most part, could only see them if you knew where to look. Some looked newer than others.

"I'm sorry Percy," Leo said. He wasn't really sure what to say. "You too?"

"It's okay. I'm getting better. Definitely relapsing a bit, these past few months have not been easy." Percy whispered. "I'm nearly a month clean. Annabeth is helpful. So is being near other people."

Leo had stopped crying at this point. One of the people who he most looked up to was struggling like he was. He wasn't as alone as he thought he was. The thought was comforting. "Do people know?"

"Annabeth knows, obviously. And so do some people at camp. Grover, Travis and Connor, and I think Thalia figured it out. Clarrise talked me down for killing myself last year." The older boy gave a forced laugh. "I better not have to talk you out of doing that. I would but let's not let it get that far. It's stupid and also a crime. I don't think you should kill yourself. Or cut anymore okay?"

Leo nodded. "When I feel like I need to, can I go to you? And you do the same?"

"That goes without saying, niño de fuego," Percy called Leo a boy of fire.

"Yeah, also that. You speak Spanish?" Leo asked.

"My mom is from Puerto Rico. She wasn't born there but still, she thought it was best I learned the language."

"And here I was, thinking I was alone but Percy Maldito Jackson is like me. I wanted to hate you you know, but you're a really great dude."

"Thanks, man, I guess." Percy gave the younger boy a small smile.

Leo fidgeted for a while and then began to lean on Percy. He wasn't really one for physical contact, but it was nice to have someone to lean on for support.

"Percy?" Leo whispered he was practically falling asleep. Percy gave a nonchalant 'mmhm'. "I want to tell Jason, so maybe he can help me out when I feel bad. Can you be there with me?" He felt stupid, asking for help. But if Frank can ask Annabeth how Chinese handcuffs work, he can ask for help.

"Well duh, you don't even need to ask. I'll be there whenever you need me." Percy said. "And after we talk, so will Jason."

Leo didn't really think, he just went straight in for a hug. Almost violently, he wrapped his arms around Percy, trying not to cry for the millionth time that day. At least he was feeling, the proof was the new tear tracks streamlining down his face. Percy hugged back. He rubbed his back and whispered soothing things like his mom did whenever he would cry in the middle of the night like this. They stayed like that for nearly half an hour until Leo fell asleep in Percy's arms.

There was a hard knock on the door followed by three much softer ones. Coach hedge must have forgotten to be gentle. "I brought soup." The satyr said as he opened the door. He caught sight of Leo drooling on Percy shirt as Percy absentmindedly hummed some song.

The son of Poseidon caught the coach's eyes and looked away, fully embarrassed. "He fell asleep."

"I can see that cupcake." He put the soup on top of a toolbox. "Is he all right?"

"Yeah," Percy nodded. "just overwhelmed and exhausted."

"Well, we need you back up at the war meeting." Hedge said. At least he remembered what he was sent there for.

"Can't do that coach. Once someone falls asleep on you, you can't get up. That's the law. And I really wished it weren't because my legs are falling asleep." Percy voiced his thoughts.

"You're a good kid, cupcake." Hedge started walking out of the engine room. "And so is the human flamethrower here," Percy swore he saw a small twitch in Leo's smile.


End file.
